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Question & Answer Answered On
Q: I have read your listing courtesy of my husband and have got to say I find your posting hilarious! I don't need a satnav as I am a rare breed of woman who can read a map but was tempted to bid because your listing is brill. All the very best Mary 23-Sep-2011
A: Hi Mary, thank you... Your husband is a lucky lucky man, women who can read maps are a rare breed, and should be treated accordingly...in some far off countries, women with such skills are stoned to death for practicing witch craft... The SatNav wouldn't be much use to a skilled cartographer such as yourself, it doesn't even have any maps on it... perhaps you might like to use it as a paper-weight to hold your own maps on the dashboard...Or perhaps use it as a club to batter anyone who passes snide comments about your ability to read a map...
Q: do you have the upload lead to connect the tomtom to the computer so it can be re-loaded with software or has the unmentionable taken all the leads 23-Sep-2011
A: She who shall be nameless here for evermore has everything else... I'm sure someone cleverer than I can be load it with software or maps or even the postcode to Nigel with the missing manhood... but I neither know how to do this, where to get the afore mentioned items, nor do I care to be reminded of the ghastly grim and acid maiden for fear of dreams no mortal man should ever be forced to endure...
Q: hi,just wanting to say congratulations on getting rid of your hoe and i hope you party hard lol no idea why she would downsize,it's insanity...my friend tracey loves you too =) 23-Sep-2011
A: Hello to fans of this listing down-under... In fact hello to all readers world-wide... Thanks for the words of encouragement and support. I intend to party and hopefully get hard: rather than just party hard... I have no idea why she would down-size either: it beggers belief... perhaps she thought it'd be easier on gas... she did suffer badly from Gusset Gas, but apparently that's something to do with not everyone being endowed with a baby's arm holding an apple, and because women are designed to accomodate something smaller the resulting damage allows for severe front-bottom flatulance...
Q: picture of wife? 23-Sep-2011
A: Removed from the listing by eBay... apparently it was too horrific and was too upsetting to small children, teenagers, adults, and generally all forms of life, animal, vegetable or mineral on planet earth... A group of pan dimensional beings from the dimension Zeta-b4-Douglas-M found it to be quite pleasant, offering to trade her for a Grrubbihoe, which in Pounds Sterling equates to a quick hand shuffle down the local Red Light District...
Q: You are a top fella dave!!! 23-Sep-2011
A: I'm also really good from beneath or behind aswell...
Q: What a shame that Nigels addres is not still in the Sat Nav, I was looking for a gift for my wife..... 23-Sep-2011
A: Am I to assume you are having marital problems? I can understand why... buying your wife a SatNav as a gift will not make her happy, nor will it get you any action in the bedroom department... Start again with something simple... start with flowers and chocolates, and then work up to lingerie and perfumes... best get to know her size and preference first though... Seriously mate, forget the Gadgets and Gizmo's they're Boy's Toys... Good Luck you're gonna need it...
Q: Hiya Dave, This is a really popular listing I see with over 13000 views so far!!!! I've two suggestions for you....Firstly is to put a link from here to facebook suggesting a party (at a date that would of course be for you to arrange)that is being held at Nigels, and secondly asking each viewer to donate £1 to your wine women and curry night out. Unfortunately I wouldnt be able to attend the party, but if you raise enough in the way of donations would be able to help you with the alcohol women and curry. By the way, you say you bought this item for your wife..how on earth did she attach it to her witches broom? 23-Sep-2011
A: Thanks for your suggestion, It seems there have been many people who have linked this listing to their facebook pages already... But I do like the idea of the party... I will certainly give that some thought...TomTom sell mounting brackets for broomsticks, it's called Duct Tape [pronounced duck tape] and is now commonly accepted by most covens as a replacement for the traditional witches 'familiar'... It seems there have been complaints from the Cat Protection League about kittens falling from broomsticks, or simply being traumatised by flight...
Q: I note that you have one negative comment in your feedback. It's strange, but I think that eBay have made a mistake in attaching yours ex-wife's feedback from something she bought from Nigel, to you. She complains that this was "not a replacement as described" and then goes on to say that she is now "board". Not only is she the way she is, but she can't spell either. A woman who is indifferent to the vows of marriage is terrible. A woman that adopts a random approach to spelling and grammar is terribly stupid. Trusting that happy chance delivers you a lady on your night out who is neither terrible nor stupid. Oh... and a curry too! 23-Sep-2011
A: How nice to see there are still Pedagogues in the world... how rare to find one presiding over eBay listings... Yes I have had negative feedback - your point being? Some people are never happy... I note that you draw attention to spelling and grammer; but still find it acceptable to spell 'can't' and 'it's' with question marks instead of the traditional apostrophes used in accordance with the Oxford English Dictionary... and you added a question mark to the sentence 'She complains that this was ?not a replacement as described?'... I therefore draw your attention to the idiom 'people who live in glass houses shouldn't throw stones...'
Q: (This Word Auto Censored by Board software!) cow mate plenty more fish in the sea as they say good luck 23-Sep-2011
A: Please refrain from the profanity, there might be children present....Yes indeed she's a total heffer, I cannot understand the logic... she was mated to a ramapnt 'English Longhorn', but decided to find pastures new, I could accept it if she'd gone for the 'Jamaica Black', but it seems she prefers the 'Milking Shorthorn' or perhaps Nigel's a 'Limpurger'....
Q: Are you sure it can be made to work again? I need one for a lady friend who's last one let her down. Regards 'Big Boy' Nigel 23-Sep-2011
A: Anything can be made to work...well apart from the Brazen Slug Hussey... All I will say is, like the harlot, the TomTom is easy to turn on, and just like she who leaves the trail of a snail, it just doesn't do anything else... just sits there looking at you expectantly...
Q: no reply needed 23-Sep-2011
A: So none given... but it begs the question why ask? Still thanks for taking the time to write...
Q: Hi Dave, i am so sorry this has happened to you but hey behind every cloud and all that. so i was wondering are you still in contact with your ex no doubt screaming harlot? and is she a looker?. if yes to both these i wonder if i passed on my post code you could give it to her so she can programme it into her new sat nav (by now)and come and give me a visit. look forward to hearing from you. x 23-Sep-2011
A: Yes every cloud...yadda yadda yadda... mine was toxic... Why Why Why would I still be in contact with Beelzebub's Rhapsody in Scarlet, she made her stain riddled bed, she can go lay her rotting corpse in it... yes she's a 'looker' spelt with 'H'... Why, oh why, oh why, would you want me to pass on your post code are you really that desperate ? Come man grow a pair! Find someone for yourself... you wouldn't wear a strangers pants ! why would you want to embarass yourself with with someone's hand-me-down... If you are still that desperate, or simply unable to find someone for yourself her new postcode is SL4 PP3R
Q: 8ft 4wt fly rod wot the xucks that all about?????? that`s nigel spencer n e banging one of mates called nigel sidebottom, and there lass no`s nowt about it! back to tomtom doe`s it work by any chance????????? cheers 007 23-Sep-2011
A: I wouldn't know anything about who's doing what to whom... why they're doing it or even what they're getting from it... As for the TomTom, well it turns on... If there was maps and software on it then I pressume it'll work properly again...
Q: You are a true hero!! Shame I dont live near Swindon.. I'd gladly take you out for a drink or ten.. nice one.. just love it!! good luck babe -) 23-Sep-2011
A: Yes indeed a shame you don't live near Swindon... I've never been a hero before... Glad this listing has brought you some enjoyment... If you're interested, I know where there's a Sat Nav going cheap if you ever wanted to visit Swindon...
Q: does this Nigel live near Stroud? I know he recently purchased a satnav off ebay that like yours; doesn't work, so there's a possibility he was going to programme that one to send her back home, to a decent willy! as she not found her way back yet? 23-Sep-2011
A: He could buy a thousand Sat Navs for her but she'll never darken these hallowed halls again. It's true, while she was here, she was always moaning with my more than generous helping of manhood... Perhaps it was too much for her so she sought something smaller. Sadly for Nigel it must be like parking a mini in a lorry bay...
Q: I hope you feel better getting all that off your chest.Women like your wife give all women a bad name....please don't judge us all by her. I hope you meet someone who loves you, and will never betray you. Good luck. xxx 23-Sep-2011
A: Thank you for you kind words, I never judge a book by the cover, and I have no reason to tar all women with the same brush...The succubus that I married was one bad apple, but the tree still blossoms every year, some fruits are sweet and juicy, others bitter and sour... My last apple now has a maggot in it.. Perhaps my next, will be one of the Golden Apples of the Hesperides...
Q: hi,im not a nigel lol,but i wish u every luck in selling the tom tom and hope that the next user uses it wisely,and not for the purpose of cheating,good luck,thanks for the laugh its made my day, 23-Sep-2011
A: Hi not a Nigel...Glad this listing has brought a little light into your life, it seems there are many like yourself who have found the TomTom Go 700 such an interesting and enjoyable subject... I assume of course, that it has nothing to do with Nigel's Erectile problems, nor even the floozy of a thousand penetrations, just the TomTom...
Q: dont worry , theres plenty more out there, trust me just take each day as it comes , feel free to get a escort girl for a few nights , go out pull and enjoy yourself , then when your done playing get yourself a 8ft 4wt fly rod set up and join the fish and fly forum , you'll love it, Cheers Spencer 23-Sep-2011
A: Hi Spencer, thanks for the encouragement... However I'm a little confused, surely if I've hired an escort girl then I shouldn't have to 'pull' if I'm paying then she can do the 'pulling' for me !!! I agree there are plenty more fish in the sea, I'm just glad I still have some bait left with which to catch one... Now the Harpie has found another table at which to feast, I intend to enjoy myself, and fully satiate myself...
Q: How do you know Nigel has a small willy? X 23-Sep-2011
A: I've known him since I was twelve, he hasn't grown much over the years...
Q: Just wondering does the Nigel you talk of have ginger hair? as we know a Nigel and were always ribbing him about having a small Nob . 23-Sep-2011
A: Hi, Yes Nigel does have ginger hair... apparently he shaves his genitals because it's easier to find his penis without the pubic hair to hide it...
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