Postage Stamp Chat Board & Stamp Bulletin Board Forum
 

Most of this board is pretty much "PG" rated, and is somewhere folks would be happy to peruse along with any youngsters keen on stamps, and we'd certainly encourage that.

THIS thread and similarly headed Funny Jokes Thread have this preamble. The vast majority of readers here are adult and many like to have a chuckle at a slightly risqué photo or joke, and we are pleased to allow that to still occur.

I guess a good rule of thumb is a joke you would be happy to tell, or a photo you'd be happy to pass around a dinner table in mixed company with social friends is perfectly fine for here.

Jokes you might tell at 11pm at an Irish pub with 4 mates, after drinking 10 Guinness might be worth thinking twice about before pressing the submit button.

Enjoy.






TRUE story:

Colonel Simon West sat proudly in the front row of the 1st Battalion of the Argyll and Sutherland Highlanders, next to the Queen on Nov 9th 2004.

She was visiting the battalion at Howe Barracks in Canterbury, Kent, to present medals after their recent tour of duty in Iraq.

Colonel West had obviously not taken the time to adjust his sporran and kilt for decency.

======================

Answers for "What are you wearing under your kilt?"

If you are looking for some responses to this age-old question, here are a few answers:

My Scottish pride.

My shoes and socks.

Nothing is worn, everything is in perfect working order.

How warm are your hands?

Play your cards right and you can find out.

Tell me madam, would you go jogging without a bra?

To another man: Same as you, only bigger.

To a woman: If I'm lucky, your lipstick.

By a man: String -- I had to tie it up so it didn't hang below the kilt.

By a lady: A wee sporran.

How badly do you want to know?

Gi'e us your hand lassie, I'm a mon o' few wurds.

.

Ah don't know about you, but I wear a mini kilt on muh mini-man. That's wha' Ah wear under muh feildagh beagh!
[cheesh I think I spelt that right]

My family has forgotten the ol' Scot Gaelic!

What do ya expect after 230 some years in America, but we kicked the _____ outa the Brits thanks to my cousin William at King's Mountain!

_________________
ne obliviscaris (clan campbell motto); charlie campbell, Ishkagua Jaylee, Tearlach

kicked the **** out of the Brits....mmmm Scotland and the Scottish are BRITS.....I think you mean kicked the **** out of the English!!!!!

_________________
very friendly ebay seller and buyer

Well, there were a mixture of them that included other Scotsmen, even those related to my own kin! I did not want to use the 'L' word! that rhymes with Blimey.

_________________
ne obliviscaris (clan campbell motto); charlie campbell, Ishkagua Jaylee, Tearlach

I wonder if anyone has showed the queen this lovely picture of her sitting next to a limp dick lmao. Looking at it I'd say the guy meant to do it he's got that impish look about him as if he's sayin, ' Shes gunna look like a right royal dick'.

_________________
Happiness is a journey, NOT a destination.

oh please oh please will someone tell little ole me how to post pics

_________________
Happiness is a journey, NOT a destination.

the above cryptic reads: No Sex causes bad eyes; it's true my eyes have gone bad, no sex, but I could still read that one!

In answer to the above question re: how to post pics, images; the best way is for you to go the the Forum for those tips for New Bulletin Board users, it will have a thread for you to find out how to do it! That's what I did.

Admin. has given that answer to more than several others in here and I'm sure he is 'bored' with that.

_________________
ne obliviscaris (clan campbell motto); charlie campbell, Ishkagua Jaylee, Tearlach

I'll try. You first need to scan pictures you want. Then get yourself a free website like Freewebs (did mine a few days ago and am having fun posting images). Then upload your pictures (probably stored in your pictures folder in documents or anywhere in your computer). Go to the page (album, or create a page in the website) and start downloading the images. Once you have them on your website. Click on the image you want to get properties, copy the url (I think that is what they call these things). Then go to Stampboards and in your posts, use the Img box on the top second to last right hand corner. Paste the copied url there and click the Img box again. Preview to see whether you like how it will look. Then submit. It was hard at first but after a few tries, you'll get the hang of it. Good luck and best wishes.

Cheers

Hi Charlie,

I tried to do double images on one post but no luck. Guess I'll have to try again but can live with one image per post. As you said if the images are too large or too many (perhaps), it can be annoying.

Cheers

Or, as Charlie helpfully added, all the info ANYONE could ever need is outlined right here:

http://www.stampboards.com/viewforum.php?f=18

_________________
.
Click HERE to see superb, RARE and unusual stamps, at FIXED low nett prices, high rez photos, and NO buyer fees etc!

Double images are fine if you want!!

_________________
.
Click HERE to see superb, RARE and unusual stamps, at FIXED low nett prices, high rez photos, and NO buyer fees etc!

3 or more different images in a post work fine for me.

_________________
.
Click HERE to see superb, RARE and unusual stamps, at FIXED low nett prices, high rez photos, and NO buyer fees etc!

Thanks all for the help!

Now here it is, Do not let your kids do the redecorating!

_________________
Happiness is a journey, NOT a destination.

Well done!

See it is pretty easy when you get the basics out of the way!

_________________
.
Click HERE to see superb, RARE and unusual stamps, at FIXED low nett prices, high rez photos, and NO buyer fees etc!

_________________
ne obliviscaris (clan campbell motto); charlie campbell, Ishkagua Jaylee, Tearlach

Now your photo has gone?

I'll try it again, then if this one works you can delete the other post thanx Glen.

_________________
Happiness is a journey, NOT a destination.

lmao and then it came back ill let you decide which one to delete

_________________
Happiness is a journey, NOT a destination.

Hi wannabgeek, congratulations on finally getting it. I know the feeling - it is exhilarating. Managed to somehow put two different images on the same post. Why not post some of your favourite stamps.

Cheers

Going back to the photo with Her Majesty, what was the good colonel's next assignment? Land crab census on Diego Garcia?

_________________
Regards,

Al

I bet he was. Perhaps this was also him?

_________________
.
Click HERE to see superb, RARE and unusual stamps, at FIXED low nett prices, high rez photos, and NO buyer fees etc!

someone shoulda asked him, "Hows it hangin?"

_________________
Happiness is a journey, NOT a destination.

Be careful what you say to a Scot in a kilt.

_________________
.
Click HERE to see superb, RARE and unusual stamps, at FIXED low nett prices, high rez photos, and NO buyer fees etc!

appears to be hangin' in his beer! ripnet.com, huh? so that's where you are finding them. Och aye!

_________________
ne obliviscaris (clan campbell motto); charlie campbell, Ishkagua Jaylee, Tearlach

I think the beer got it to hang down.

"Brewer's Droop"

http://everything2.com/index.pl?node_id=772868

_________________
.
Click HERE to see superb, RARE and unusual stamps, at FIXED low nett prices, high rez photos, and NO buyer fees etc!

or "Foster's Flop"?

http://everything2.com/index.pl?node_id=772868

Palm Foster's off on the Yanks, heh? That is practically terrorism.

_________________
Regards,

Al

Dang! I forgot about that! I tried a Foster awhile back. Been so long I forgot! They tricked me 'cause it came in an oil can an' I almost put it in my pick-em-up, was forced to drink it! an' that's the truth!

_________________
ne obliviscaris (clan campbell motto); charlie campbell, Ishkagua Jaylee, Tearlach

Well you folks export BudLite and CoorsLite and WaterLite and claim they all BEERS? That's criminal.

Wait on ,.. don't the locals also DRINK that stuff sometimes, by CHOICE?

_________________
.
Click HERE to see superb, RARE and unusual stamps, at FIXED low nett prices, high rez photos, and NO buyer fees etc!

Now that's a prickler pardner!

_________________
ne obliviscaris (clan campbell motto); charlie campbell, Ishkagua Jaylee, Tearlach

DOGKILLER

A very nice picture of Toronto's CN Tower

Kicking the Leaning tower Of Pisa

The breast bikini I have seen for quite some time!!!!

A bridge to where????

Car? Van?

Last one - I've made 100 posting and we are off out to a restaurant.

Congratulations!

_________________
.
Click HERE to see superb, RARE and unusual stamps, at FIXED low nett prices, high rez photos, and NO buyer fees etc!

A love story in three photos - sent by by weak-willed Maryland client Gerry who has not YET got around to signing up.

You too can have these!

Definitely a male brain above

Seeing this is a stamp board I can tell this one. One bloke made his first million dollars selling the following.

He ran large ads in certain magazines guaranteeing to increase penis size by 50% with no pain, no operations, no delays.

You mailed off $59.95 and he mailed you back this classic:

http://www.tts-group.co.uk/Content/File ... /SJMAG.jpg

No-one asked for their money back, and no one, for some reason complained to consumer affairs.

.