Funny Jokes - SLIGHTLY *Broad Minded* readers only please

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151. What time is it when the clock strikes 13? Time to get a new clock.
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152. Why did the melon jump into the river? Because it wanted to be a watermelon.
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153. What makes a sick lemon feel better? Lemon-aid.
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154. Where do you learn to make ice cream? Sundae school.
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155. Why can’t you trust zookeepers? They love cheetahs.
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156. How does Spiderman do research? On the World Wide Web!
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157. Why did the tomato blush? Because it saw the salad dressing.
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158. What do you think of that new diner on the moon? Food was good, but there really wasn’t much atmosphere.
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159. What do Alexander the Great and Kermit the Frog have in common? The same middle name.
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160. What’s the largest gem on earth? A baseball diamond!
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161. What animal dresses up and howls? A wearwolf.
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162. Why did the dinosaur cross the road? Because the chicken wasn’t born yet.
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163. What do you get if you dip a baby cat in chocolate? A Kitty-Kat Bar!
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164. What's red and bad for your teeth? A brick.
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165. Why can’t Elsa have a balloon? Because she’ll let it go.
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166. Why do birds fly south for the winter?

It's too far to walk!
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167. Why did the farmer jump on his potato plants? Because he wanted mashed potatoes.
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168. What food is never on time? Choco-late!
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169. What did the mama elephant say to her kids when they weren’t behaving? “Tusk, tusk.”
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170. How do you make an octopus laugh? With ten-tickles.
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171. What did the fish say when he bumped into a concrete wall? “Dam!”
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172. What cookie flavor do monkeys love? Chocolate Chimp!
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173. What are bald sea captains most worried about? Cap-sies.
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174. How do you make a tissue dance? You put a little boogie in it.
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175. Why did the puppy do so well at school? Because she was the teacher’s pet!
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176. Why do hurricanes wear a monocle to see? Because they have one eye.
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177. What do you call a retired vegetable? A has-bean.
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178. What did the nose say to the finger? Quick picking on me!
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178. What did the nose say to the finger? Quick picking on me!
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179. What do you call a piece of seaweed that’s fallen in the trash? Yaki Nori.
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180. What did the clock ask the watch? Hour you doing?
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181. Where do hamburgers and hot dogs go dancing? A meatball.
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182. What musical instrument is found in the bathroom? A tuba toothpaste.
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183. What’s the most famous fish? A starfish!
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184. What do you call a sheep with no legs? A cloud.
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185. Why don’t oysters share? They’re shell-fish!
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186. What’s blue and smells like red paint? Blue paint.
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187. Where do vampires keep their money? A blood bank.
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188. How do porcupines kiss? Carefully!
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189. Why are fish so intelligent? Because they live in schools!
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190. What kind of music do bubbles hate? Pop.
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191. What do you call a dog magician? A labracadabrador.
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192. What did the triangle say to the circle? You’re pointless!
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193. What kind of fish loves going to war? A swordfish.
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194. Why can’t your hand be 12 inches long? Because then it’d be a foot.
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195. Why couldn't the pony sing a lullaby? She was a little horse.
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196. What’s a parent’s favorite Christmas carol? Silent Night.
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197. Where do woodland birds invest their money? The stork-market.
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198. What do you call a bear with no teeth? A gummy bear.
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199. What do you call a fake noodle? An impasta.
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